Exclusivity
by CorvusCorvidae
Summary: Cassie can't help but feel jealous every time Rachel mentions Quinn and Santana, and eventually it all becomes too much. AU. One-Shot. Julyberry Week - Day Two: Jealousy.


Julyberry week – Day two: Jealousy

Just a short one-shot for this one as I was running behind. Enjoy!

*0*0*

Exclusivity

*0*0*

So.

Cassie knew that she was going to struggle in a relationship with Rachel from the beginning. For starters, it was a relationship, which she was not used to it. She just didn't know her way around these types of situations. Her last relationship had been with Bobby Walsh in her senior year of high school and every one since then had been a fling or a one-night stand. There was no commitment, no exclusivity, and no feelings involved.

Therefore, it shouldn't have been a surprise that when Cassie saw Rachel with her arm around a blonde and the other round a brunette, that she would suddenly get his overwhelming need to intervene. Nothing was going on, they were just walking ahead of her in the hallway, but yet Cassie suddenly felt threatened, and what the fuck was that about?

Rather than make a scene, Cassie turned and headed back the other way. She wasn't going to acknowledge the sudden animalistic need in her system to claim Rachel, nor was she going to bring it up. In order for this relationship to work, she needed to keep her demons at bay, and jealousy was certainly one of the worst demons she had.

Except, they weren't exclusive, and that changed things, Cassie noted, lying alone in bed later that night.

It felt like an awful big commitment to ask Rachel to be exclusive to someone fifteen years her senior, and it was a big ask of Cassie to accept such a relationship in the first place. While she wasn't seeing or sleeping with anyone else, because she didn't _want_ to, that didn't mean Rachel was of the same mind.

And that thought hurt.

Rolling over, hoping to encase her arms round the girl she refused to admit she was smitten over, Cassie was met with the coldness of the empty bed next to her. Right. Rachel had stayed at the loft that night as Quinn was down from Yale, and they were having a girls night in with Santana, whatever that meant.

Grumbling under her breath, Cassie rolled over and tried to get some sleep, hoping to push all thoughts of the three girls in the loft, drinking, laughing, playing ridiculous games, getting drunk, removing clothing, kissing, moaning, grinding…fuck.

There was no way she could sleep, and refusing to lie there anymore, she sprung out of bed and decided that she needed to burn this jealousy out of her. Working out would give her the distraction she needed, and maybe by morning she could function like a normal person again, one not consumed by mistrust and jealously.

She could only hope.

*0*0*

It didn't take long before Rachel realised that all was not well in her relationship with Cassie. There were subtle differences that most might not pick up, but given she was dating Cassandra July, Rachel had learnt to analyse everything.

The first change was the tightening of Cassie's lips every time she mentioned hanging out with Quinn or Santana. She seemed rather angry with that fact, although never said anything. To begin with, Rachel just thought she was annoyed at being left out, so she made the effort to invite Cassie along, but that offer was shot down rather quickly.

"No, no. Wouldn't want to cramp your style," Cassie had muttered, shutting the door behind her as she headed into the shower, effectively locking Rachel out of that conversation.

Replaying what had happened to Quinn and Santana, they brushed it off as Cassie being sensitive about the age difference, and then the issue was dropped. But the more and more Rachel mentioned them, the more and more Cassie became withdrawn.

Yes, she wasn't exactly cuddly and full of joy and love before, but now she was distant, a little more snappy than normal, and heaven forbid Rachel try and initiate sex. That went down like a lead balloon.

Eventually the question just had to be asked, as Rachel couldn't be bothered putting up with this anymore.

"What's up with you?" she wondered over breakfast one morning.

All had been going well, until Rachel mentioned that they were having a party at the loft as a goodbye for Quinn who was going back to Yale. She had spent the last week or so with them, ditching classes and having an amazing time, but had to be getting back. It was Santana's idea to throw her a party, as Rachel explained, but Cassie's eye roll had been enough to put a stop to that conversation.

Awaiting Cassie's response, Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows in question, but Cassie's silence was answer enough.

"Fine, don't tell me. But when you're done being all moody and pushing me away, you know where to find me." With that, she got up, grabbed her things, and headed out, closing the door softly as she went.

There was no way she was going to give Cassie the satisfaction of a proper Rachel Berry storm out.

And back in the apartment, Cassie dropped her head back in defeat. She was trying hard not to let herself show how much she hated hearing about Quinn and Santana. Rachel might claim they were only friends, but that was the first step, first friends and then lovers.

They were Rachel's age, they all knew each other closely, they had similar interests, they had been through thick and thin together, so why would Rachel even bother with a washed up old hag like Cassie? She clearly had two girls who were interested in her, who wanted her, so why draw this process out?

It was official, the jealousy had turned her completely crazy, and now she couldn't see what was fact and what was fiction.

*0*0*

In a bid to make things right, Cassie plucked up the courage to fight her demons away for a few hour and attend Quinn's going away party.

Of course, she had been greeted by Quinn and Santana on her entrance, who both shot her a similar look of annoyance, and were met with one in return. She didn't care what they thought. It only mattered what Rachel thought at that moment, and she needed to find her girlfriend, if they were in fact still dating.

God, she better not have fucked this up.

Rachel was surrounded by people Cassie recognised from NYADA, and thankfully none of them were surprised to see her there. Instead, they pointed Rachel towards Cassie's direction, and the smile she received made her insides burn with warmth. This girl, this damn girl.

"You came," Rachel smiled, walking over with two drinks in hand, having completely abandoned those she was with.

"I came." Accepting one of the glasses, Cassie took a sip and then twisted her mouth in distaste at finding out it was apple juice.

"You honestly didn't think we'd be serving alcohol at this party? Goodness, what kind of people do you take us for, Miss July?" Rachel teased, and it was enough to break the last bit of tension between them.

"Shut your mouth, Schwim," Cassie muttered, pulling Rachel closer, and kissing her softly on the lips. Normally she wasn't one for public displays of affection, especially not when half of her Dance 101 class was present, but it felt like she had something to prove.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, Cassie attempted to have a good time, and in fact, she did. There were enough people from Kurt's work not to make this a strictly NYADA party, and that was a nice change. If she had been stuck talking to her students all night she would have either had to crack open some booze, and she knew there was booze in there somewhere, or she would have had to leave.

Rachel wandered off sometime later to do her own thing, and try as she might, Cassie couldn't help but flick her gaze over to her every so often. She really was amazing to watch, her bright smile and her gorgeous legs on show in that ridiculously short skirt she was wearing. But then with a glance at Santana, Cassie saw she wasn't the only one enjoying the view.

Santana was biting her bottom lip, a slight smirk in place as her eyes practically devoured the skin Rachel had on show. A few more seconds and Cassie would have attacked her like a wild animal, but thankfully, Rachel had moved to stand behind Quinn, effectively blocking her from view, and all was well. Or as well as it could be with the jealousy eating away at her.

When Rachel came over an hour or so later, hoping to hang out with her girlfriend, she was met with a different Cassie than the one who had kissed her earlier. The sour look on her face, the standoffish response to Rachel's touch all stung, but then Cassie opened her mouth, effectively sending Rachel on her way.

"Why don't you go find your _friends_, no need to stay with me when you're clearly _desperate_ to be with them instead." As insecure as she was, Cassie knew insulting the two girls would be a one-way ticket to being single, and she wasn't willing to be the one dumped. No way. No one dumps Cassandra July. Not even Bobby fucking Walsh dumped Cassandra July, so there was no way in hell she was going to let Schwimmer dump her sorry ass.

Stopping short to pick up the tone and the slight hint of venom behind Cassie's words, Rachel frowned and tried to work out what the problem was. She had a suspicion, but she had to be wrong. There was just no way, absolutely no way that Cassie was jealous of her friendship with Santana and Quinn. No way. Not possible.

Did she…did Cassie think Rachel was cheating on her? Was that even possible?

Shaking her head, Rachel tried to piece together what had happened to bring this out and came up short. However, she wasn't just going to stand there and take it. Absolutely not. She knew better than that.

"I think you're a bit confused about a few things," Rachel murmured, taking Cassie's hand and tugging her through the loft.

There was only one way to clear this up, and she intended to do just that right away.

The people around them moved out of their way as they headed towards the bathroom in the back, and as soon as the line waiting saw Cassie on the approach, they dissipated and went back to the party in the living room.

"Schwimmer, I'm really not in the mood," Cassie muttered, ending up leaning on the door, wondering what they were doing there. She didn't need to pee, and she certainly did not want a quickie in Schwimmer's manky loft bathroom. Plus, she had been rude, and the hurt look on Rachel's face made her feel guilty. There was just no way anything would happen with that guilt laying heavy on her conscience.

Then Cassie heard it.

"Oh fuck, Q," Santana's tell-tale voice moaned through the bathroom door, and Cassie took an abrupt step back from it. Rachel laughed at her surprised face, but that was silenced by the look of outrage being shot her way.

She didn't regret such a rude awakening call, as Cassie needed to know the truth, and what was better than hearing exactly what was going on in front of her eyes that she had so blindly missed? Rachel was no fool, she was certain Cassie must have thought she was partaking in similar activities with either Santana or Quinn, and while that didn't sit right with her, they'd get to that later.

Several thumps and grunts against the door pulled Rachel back to see how Cassie was reacting now, but instead she was met with a blank space. Heading back out into the kitchen, she saw that Cassie hadn't left, thankfully, but that she was having a drink with one of Kurt's friends. Obviously they were going to talk about it another time, which Rachel could allow for now.

When Quinn and Santana vacated the bathroom several minutes later, Rachel spotted a blush on Cassie's cheeks. At least the message had been received loud and clear.

*0*0*

The rest of the party was a great success, and Cassie and Rachel kept their distance for the most part. Kurt opted to go to Adam's that night, and it was clear from the looks Santana was shooting Quinn that Rachel might want to leave, too. So, grabbing her bag and coat, she wandered over to Cassie and entwined their hands together.

"Ready to go?" she asked, hoping that she wasn't being too presumptuous. She wasn't, as the soft smile on Cassie's face told her as much.

Hopping in a cab, they headed up town to Cassie's place, and made quick work to get in out the cold and head upstairs. Once inside, Cassie flicked the lights on and locked the door behind them, initiating her going to bed routine, but she wasn't getting off that easy.

"Are we going to talk about what went on tonight?" Rachel asked, dumping her things down in the living room.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cassie replied, unfazed by this completely, and it was almost enough to have Rachel start yelling. But, she reigned in her temper, and opted for a different approach. Yelling at Cassie would be nothing but suicidal for her heart.

"Oh yes you do, Cassie, so don't play coy with me," she began, only to receive silence in return. "I don't know what has changed recently, but for some ridiculous reason you seem to think that I've been cheating on you, and I can't understand why you would jump to that conclusion. I mean, do you honestly think I would sleep Santana and Quinn behind your back or something?" Rachel asked point blank, waving her arms as she spoke, and she must have hit a nerve.

"We're not exclusive!" Cassie cried, and then scrunched her face up in disgust at herself for having come out with that. Fucking hell. What was she thinking bringing that up?!

"What?" Rachel asked, her voice much softer, looking a little surprised by that response.

"Doesn't matter, Schwimmer, let's just go to bed." Cassie shook her head as she turned and walked away, hoping for some reprieve. That wasn't going to happen, and she should have known that since she was dating Rachel Berry of all people. Her determination was impossible at times.

"No, it does matter if it has you thinking I'm cheating on you with my best friends," Rachel pointed out, following Cassie through her apartment to the bedroom. Cassie stood at the side of the bed, looking as if she was ready to give up, so Rachel opted for the softer approach. She might have been hurt and angry by the thought of her being unfaithful, but she knew this was all new to Cassie, and baby steps were needed. "Talk to me. You want to be exclusive?"

"I don't know, Schwimmer, do I? Do I want to be exclusive? Do I want to know that you're with me and only me? That there's no one else? Do you think I want that?" she barked back, still on defence from letting that information slip.

"You know what, I don't care if you want it," Rachel began, and Cassie froze. Had she pushed too far? Was this it? Had she just ruined the best thing in her life? "I want it. I want the exclusivity. I want to know that you're with me and only me, to know that there is no one else. That's what I want. So, you can either accept that, and we become exclusive, or say otherwise now and we're done."

God, Cassie adored her.

Even though Cassie didn't deserve it, Rachel was throwing her a life raft, taking the decision out of Cassie's hands, because she most likely knew that Cassie would never be able to admit it herself. She was fighting for them, for their relationship, and she knew exactly how to navigate the minefield that was Cassie.

"I want that, too," she finally admitted, softly, carefully, as if the words would bite her. But she didn't actually feel as awful as she thought she would, in fact she felt rather happy with being so honest. Though, that probably had a lot to do with Rachel's calming smile being sent her way.

"Good." Leaning up on her toes, Rachel planted a soft kiss on Cassie's lips and then stepped back. "No more jealous outbursts and crazy thoughts?"

"Promise," she whispered, knowing she had to stay true to her word if she ever had any intention of keeping Rachel in her life, and right there, that's exactly what she wanted.

The jealousy would need to go, because she needed Rachel, and Cassie couldn't see how that would ever change.

*0*0*


End file.
